Review of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray:

Relationship self-help book every couple should have!

I read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" by John Gray a long time ago and it amazed me how John Gray has created a whole manual for couples.

When people speak about equality between men and women, they assume that they are similar in every aspect of life.

This concept is wrong!

Equality and similarity are two different concepts!

Men and women are equal and deserve equal rights in every walk of life, but they are not similar. They are biologically different and act differently in every situation of life.

Husbands and Wives are different, and this difference makes the marriage bond strong and beautiful.

This is the message present in John Gray's book! 

Men and women are from different planets (not literally, but metaphorically) and they have different ways to communicate, think and react to different situations.

Why is the ratio of divorce is increasing in societies? Why does love vanish from a marriage after some time?

It is because spouses don't know how their better half is different from them. They don't know the differences, and that's why misunderstandings occur and love from their relationship vanishes.

It, John Gray has written this book to make it clear what differences are between spouses, and how a spouse should react in a specific situation.

About John Gray:

John Gray is an American Psychologist and relationship counselor. He has conducted various seminars on relationship and sex, and have written various self-help books related to relationship topics.

His book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" came in 1992, and became a best-seller self-help book. It has been translated into 35 languages.

Things that make this book unique are its light-hearted tone, and examples from the daily life of couples to whom every couple can relate.

As he is a relationship counselor, he has based his book on the conversation and issues which couples came to discuss with him. This aspect makes this book reliable and unique.

He has answered certain questions of men and women in his book.

Questions answered in Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus:

Questions of Men answered in this book:

1. Why do women talk so much?

2. When she feels depressed, what to do to make her happy?

3. When we have discussed and solved a specific problem, why is she still worried about it? And when I ask her not to worry about the situation, why does she get mad?

4. Why do women take stress from everything?

5. When I need to be alone, why doesn't she understand it? Even when I have told her to leave me alone?

6. How to stop her from interrupting my moments of silence?

7. Why does she get angry when I offer a solution to her problem?

8. Why is she having frequent mood swings and how can I help her with them?

9. What I give her is not enough sometimes. Why does it happen?

10. When I solve a problem and share the solution with her, she gets angry despite agreeing with me. Why is this happening?

11. I am doing a lot of hard work for my family. Why is she not understanding it?

12. After a tough day at work, all I need is some time alone. How can I make her understand this point?

Questions of Women answered in this book:

1. At the beginning of our relationship, he was listening to me. But then he stopped. What is the reason?

2. When I want to discuss any problem with him, he becomes frustrated. Why?

3. Whenever I tried to approach him, he became offensive. Why?

4. Why is he pulling away from me? How to stop him?

5. Why is he making me guilty when I feel depressed? 

6. How to make him open up to me?

7. We are arguing. How to change it?

8. At the beginning of our relationship, he was doing small things to make me happy. Why has he stopped now?

9. I am doing a lot in this relationship, but he is not appreciating me. How to make him realize this thing?

10. Whenever I offer help, he gets frustrated. What's the reason?

These are the questions spouses can have in their minds while going through their daily routines.

These questions or emotions are not linked to insecurities, arrogance, or pride, nor are these emotions anything to be ashamed of. These questions or emotions emerged because of biological differences, and both genders should accept these differences and solve these questions.

John Gray has answered these questions in his book with detailed explanations and real-time scenarios. 

Though there are a lot of themes and differences in the couples, the main differences addressed in this book are:

Main Lessons in Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus:

• Men want isolation to solve the issues in their heads. They want some isolated time to get rid of the worries of life. But, women are more verbal about their issues and want emotional support.

• Women need love and care. They want recognition to know that they are cared for and appreciated. On the other hand, men want the feeling that they are useful. He wants to trust and appreciate his skills.

• Men and women have different ways to communicate. A man is literal in their words and meanings, while women get emotional while communicating. 

Maybe, a lot of time, every person doesn't fall into these scenarios. Maybe, some exceptional cases are present in this world. But, I believe that if you have a clear understanding of the other gender's emotions, you can cope with your relationship issues in a better way.

It will broaden your mind and will make you a flexible and empathetic person in the marriage.

Wrap Up:

I highly suggest you read this book if you want to have a peaceful married life. There are a lot of lessons discussed in this book that I can't put into my review. So, it is better to make this book a part of your bookshelf.

Do read it, and do share your thoughts with me in the comment section.